My 3 Little Obsessions

Obsession No 1: JAPANESE BENTO I had my first bento box meal in Wardour Street or nearby. What I love about bento is that it reminds me of the compartmentalised meals you get on flights, you know, the little bread roll in one area and the Russian Salad in another - no food touching here, like baked beans completely ruining fish fingers or tomato sauce bloodying the mash. Of course, the quality of bento is better and a little bit more exotic, the odd tempura, squidgy rice with a sour plum and a delicate salad of sock tasting daikon. You see, it's not the flavours so much that appeals but the look - they can look like little treasure boxes. Children's bento are even more artful, but are less sophisticated and more cartoonish in appearance with little bears made out of rice balls or hard boiled eggs moulded into stars. I like to experiment with bento for my children because 10 times out of 10 they will eat it. Bung the same ingredients in undecorative fashion, the children won't touch it. I often make bento style on a plate for my children as in the picture.

Obsession No 2: FORUMS There seems to be a forum for everything these days: From daffodil growers to sufferers of beaver fever from night soil men to wellington boot wearers. I'm not on any of these, but I do patronise many, most of which I have now forgotten the usernames and passwords to. I'm on a fair few bipolar forums, the threads of which go like this: I'm down - see your pdoc (psychiatrist) - okay I'll see my pdoc (psychiatrist) - good. They are rather self-limiting but they are fun in an self-absorbed kind of way. I used to ask and answer questions on Yahoo Answers long before I joined twitter and facebook. My questions/answers started off innocently enough: how long do you cook brisket for? How can I shave my armpits with this annoying skin tag? After a while my questions descended into juvenile Monty Pythonesque nonsense like "Where can I buy dust?" and "How much does limescale weigh?" It was a good prelude to tweeting, as I still pose those questions today.

My Final Obsession No 3: COMEDY Not just any old comedy, my comedy. Writing one-liners which I hoped to perform, which never really came to fruition, but that's another story. I like writing off the wall one-liners with joke set ups that often set one on a complicated, round-a-bout journey to figure out the punchline. It's just how my mind works, the jokes shouldn't work, but they sometimes do. One of my jokes is: My husband keeps sprinkling 100s & 1000s (sprinkles) on the chimp's arse - I don't know who to call, the animal protection sanctuary or Dunkin' Donuts?. I won't put any of my other jokes here as they are precious and don't want them stolen. I've got notebook upon notebook of one-liners, some written while sober, many still written while drunk. Once I write a joke or a sketch or a piece to perform (which I did ONCE), I never look at the material again - it's too cringingly painful.

So those are my ongoing obsessions - I hope they don't change.