A Twitter Story

Life can be dull. People can be dull. Shopping in M&S can be dull. So, to make life more exciting I like to create/make up people, bring them to life. I should write a novel, but I have no staying power and no focus, I go off characters pretty quickly in order to create new ones - I get bored with fiction as well as events in real life. My creative outlet was and still is twitter. It was going to be facebook too, until my boyfriend kindly mentioned that facebook was more for networking and showing your holiday snaps to friends. Damn - how tedious! Well, at least I've got twitter and what's surprising, is that I seem to have some loyal fans, errr like 10 people.

Each tweet, as you know, is only 140 characters which makes for short sentences. About that previous sentence's length in fact. Well, I wrote a whole spoof of the movie Alien from start to finish on twitter one day. And people followed it and read it. Tweet after tweet of aliens bursting out of stomachs, faces being covered by embryonic aliens and so on. My fellow tweeters kept with me and gave me positive feedback.

I'd like to tell you about some of my fictional characters. The newest is professor Frederick Chihuahua of the University of Barking, who claims to have invented the letter B. His girlfriend Donna Kerr-Babb, formerly of Bromley, is now working in an Abu Dhabi brothel. Why? We have yet to discover, but I'm sure it will be juicy. My other character creations have been Sonja Vielschmuck an Amazonian German (kind of based on 5 ft 2 me) who was in love with Drew Seed of the Flannelet Subway. My most annoying personage was not actually a person, but an alien called Botztxip. I had to stop tweeting as Botztxip when people complained they couldn't understand it/him/she. Well, it/he/she is an alien, aren't they? Not all my characters on twitter have been fictional, I've used Samuel Pepys, Nell Gwynn, Ceaucescu's Puppy and Lassie to tweet on numerous occasions. I've also brought into twitter inventions - the 4th dimensional pencil case, the nipple slippers and nostril boots.

None of this is particularly interesting, especially if you've never seen my tweets, but it does show you that twitter is a tool for however you want to use it. If you want to catch up with friends, talk tech, or follow trending topics that's great. But I like to use it to outline and colour in people who could actually be real in a crazy, topsy-turvey world all possible thanks to the medium of twitter.